Deep scars have been aggravated over the past couple of days. It is amazing how singular events can trigger the process of resurrecting emotional issues. Issues that you buried and thought would rest in peace.
Last night I found myself walking around and around the paved path at Flat Iron Mesa park trying to process through the anxieties of both the job hunt and the dramas of dating. Both of which are laced with fear, uncertainty and potential rejection (three incredibly ugly and faith-breaking words). I may or may not have sat down in the middle of that park at one point and started sobbing... I will neither confirm or deny that event. And it was a good thing that I was the only soul there to experience that little emotional saga.
The worst of days are the ones that I feel like a captive to the consuming fire of grief. Dramatic, yes. But I dare you the reader to say that life experience hasn't ever dealt you that hand of cards.
I am waiting to hear back from a company about a job opportunity I went through a total of four interviews with. I fear that in the event I don't get the job that it will be the last rejection I will be able to mentally handle. To compound my present dilemma further, I am not sure if my freshly healed baby-like heart can handle the internal wars that pertain to dating.
Fortunately, despite the current stormy conditions, there is good news for me.
"...you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.
It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.
There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow... how beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone.
If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift your heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you... All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father.
...you who stand for truth and righteousness, you who seek goodness... and walk in the ways of the Lord—our Father in Heaven has promised that you will 'mount up with wings as eagles; [you] shall run, and not be weary; and [you] shall walk, and not faint.' You 'shall not be deceived.' God will bless and prosper you. 'The gates of hell shall not prevail against you'; … and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good..."
-Your Happily Ever After, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Somehow I know that it is gonna be okay.
P.S. I highly recommend reading or listening to Your Happily Ever After. I have listened to it about one ka-billion times. In fact almost every morning that I would warm up on the treadmill before my personal training sessions, I would listen to it and find great strength and peace from it's message. I was even cool enough to hyper-link the text above for ease and convenience.
