Saturday, September 24, 2011

I was unfortunate enough to be a victim of the following awkward conversation...

Tonight after the broadcast of Women's Conference, a lady from my sister's ward asked if I was married or single. A question to which I replied, "single".

She then proceeded to tell me about a lady in their ward who was 40, single, and recently engaged. When this woman announced her engagement in Relief Society, they cheered and rooted her on as if she just scored the winning touchdown at a football game. I wasn't sure where she was going with her touching little hallmark-movie-plot story until she closed it out with this 'inspirational' remark, "So, don't worry sweetheart and don't give up."

Seriously? I am only 25.

On another note, can I say that I have a crush on President Uchdorf? Yep, I do and I totally just said that. Is it because of his thick molasses German accent? Possibly. Is it the thick salt and pepper mane? Possibly. Is it because he was once a fighter pilot? Definitely. Is it because he obviously is in touch with what women want and need to hear? Absolutely.

But I think nothing is as attractive as a solid god-fearing righteous dude. Jus sayin.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

It feels like the fall is settling in. Especially in the mornings. It makes me think of Michigan ... It makes me feel homesick....
But Michigan, is no longer home (yes, months later I still apparently grapple with this) and realizing it is making me feel like I am loosing everything all over again.
I'm not pining for my old [dysfunctional] life, it's just that I lived in that life for most of my adult years. And now in this new [wonderfully functional] life, I feel like a am a little girl wearing her mom's high heels and pearls who is playing 'grown-up'. It's like I am not quite sure how to live in my new circumstances. I don't know how to let myself be happy... it is kind of like I forgot how
...Because Michigan was so bittersweet, the thought of memories there have the ability to make me laugh and also make me cry. Everything that happened feels real now. For awhile it didn't feel like those ugly things actually happened. But lately I am experiencing more and more moments where it feels more real than ever. And it is just a reminder of how scary and painful life can get.