Wednesday, September 17, 2014

A self portrait

I started this blog during a major several major life transitions. Writing was almost like a way to survive. To not self implode.

I guess it is just my way of reconciling the experiences. Figuring out what they mean to me and accepting them and moving forward ... hopefully a better person than before.

I had so much to say and to get out and truth be told there was probably a whole lot of over-sharing. But I was just being true to my form... I usually wear my heart on my sleeve with few exceptions.

But writing has been so absent in my life. And it is not that I didn't want to. I just didn't feel the right kind of inspiration. Or the right reasons.  I can't really actually put my finger on it to be honest.

Maybe just too "busy".
There is a pulling need to write. It seems like I always need to write when my life changes perspective. For the past several years I have lived the single life. It feels like a morphed into a million different versions of myself. And not in a weird schizophrenic way.. but more in a way to figure out who I am. And that is still an ongoing process ... as it should be.

                                                                                                                       Obviously lessons and becoming who we presently are doesn't happen in an instant but rather very slowly over time. Almost so slow it is hard to notice until you reach a pivotal point or something you have been hoping and dreaming and waiting for. I guess that it is the same reason why I am not very good at writing in the everyday moments. Because it is hard to know which everyday moments will offer the most significance.                                                                                                                             Or the ones that you value and want to keep. But maybe it is those everyday moments that need to be documented. Maybe those are really the ones that make the most difference in a person's life.

Because a "looking back on it" perspective makes it easier to sift out the fine details to get the overall picture BUT you lose those everyday details... which at the end of the day is what the sum total of our lives are all about. And those small memories and moments are some of the best and most treasured.

And they have the most impact.

Maybe one day (tomorrow or when I am old and senile) I will write more about the last few years of my life but for now consider all these selfies an update.

Oh, and that "life changing perspective thing...  I got married... more on that I am sure when I get around to it :)

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