(This post is dedicated to a dear friend who is struggling with the decision to get divorced or not. And no, this is not to impart my opinion on what they should do. Rather it is to say that as with any struggle, it will find its way from the present to history and peace can be had. P.S. Just for the record, I believe that couples should do everything they can to save their marriage... I don't recommend divorce as the solution BUT sometimes, in some cases, it is the only solution.)

I think a tough wall to breach when coping with the realities of a divorce is coming to terms with the chapter in your life titled, "Something You Went Into Swearing Over Your Dead Body Wouldn't Fail... But Did." I didn't go into my marriage even humoring the thought that it would fail in 5 1/2 years. I went into it having every faith and hope that it would last... as most people do.

I am so grateful to say however, the shame that comes from a personal failure like a divorce by the age of 24 doesn't effect me anymore. Certainly not like it used to. I have been able to come to an acceptance and peace with it (...and for quite some time now). Yeah, there are some moments when a trigger unleashes a ton of bricks and I realize, "Whoa, my life is totally different now..." A trigger that jolts me back to a life trajectory that came to a dead end--I'd be lying if I didn't say that it's not a little discomposing. But just recently in a conversation regarding someone else's personal struggle, I was reminded that, "A moment is only a moment."

Just breathe and let it pass.

Ultimately, the general feeling towards that aspect of my life experience is that I do not feel 'tortured' or bombarded by the fear of that kind of personal failure. I am free from it.

Yes, I am 24.
Yes, I am a divorcee.
Yes, I learned some valuable lessons.
No, it doesn't define me.

I just have a clearer understanding of what I want... or don't want.

I now however wonder when it is appropriate for me to share that I am not just simply single but divorced... especially when it comes to the people I date. And no, that is not a plea for advice on the subject.